The Missing Dab

Well, I'm sure you've seen it by now. I'm talking, of course, about Carolina Panthers QB,

Cam Newton's post-game press conference. It was the perfect example of an inexperienced leader. It's all fun and games while he's winning, but talk about a 180 when he loses.

Keep in mind that Newton was drafted just five years ago and although he's had some great success on the field, he still has much experience to gain in the off-field leadership arena. He's the face of not only his own brand but of the Panthers. What he displayed, no matter how painful, was the wrong picture. I've seen high school state championship losers act better.

A leader can't dab and dance while things are going well and then turn over when things don't go your way. That sets the tone for the rest of the team. The people that look up to you and respond off of your cue's. A leader is a role model, which can go either way, positively or negatively.

So hopefully Newton learns a lot from this experience - his first of multiple Super Bowls - and takes some cue's from QB's that "aren't like him, such as Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, and even rookie Jameis Winston (I've been totally impressed with his attitude during his first year). The Super Bowl is a HUGE stage and no matter what happens, sometimes, as a leader, we just have to suck-it-up.

BTW. Congratulations to Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos.

A Tuna Sandwich Named Kevin

I just recently saw one of those cute little sayings on Facebook that said, “Strange new trend at the

office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin”.

As funny as that sounds, it’s actually pretty accurate. And that’s not so funny. Whether it’s a sandwich, an employee or personal space in the “cube farm”, R-E-S-P-E-C-T seems to be often missing. With a lack of respect comes a lack of trust. With a lack of trust comes an unproductive office. Oh yes, creativity also takes a hit.

Did I mention that teamwork suffers, as does enthusiasm and commitment to the organization? Let's not forget that customer service suffers. Motivation decreases, and so does communication.

Seems to be a trend here. Instead of having to deal with all of these negatives, why not show some respect for your employees and colleagues and turn those negatives into positives?

Someone To Look Up To?

Someone to look up to.  That's part of a leaders' job.

As a leader, you must walk the talk 24/7.  To take a phrase from Disney, you are "on stage".  Especially, those in positions like company Presidents and CEOs.  Any time employees, customers, or the general public can see you or hear you - you are on stage.  Because of current events, you may already know where I'm going with this.

AOL boss Tim Armstrong may very well have done permanent damage to his reputation by firing Creative Director Abel Lenz . . . on a conference call with about 1000 employees listening on.  Stress is a given when you're at the top.  Even if you're anywhere near the top.  However - you're always on stage.  Emotions must be kept in check.  Save it for the office.

So what may have been lost, or at least reduced here?  Employee morale.  Employee productivity.  Respect for the CEO.  Overall culture of the organization.  Not that it's necessarily the case here, but leaders just don't always think about the human element as much as they should.

So next time you feel like blowing up . . . stop, for a split second and think, "What damage am I going to do and how should I handle it differently?"

Is That You?

Is that you?  What does that mean?  It means that you're recognizing someone.  It's a pretty simple example of the word "recognize", isn't it?  But that's the point.  Recognizing people is simple.

Most managers spend more time pointing out mistakes than achievements - even though their staff do more things right than wrong.  A feedback ratio of one positive to three negatives doesn't really do too much for morale.  But I bet, if you turn it around, that a ratio of three positives to one negative will really do wonders for the motivation of your staff.

Sit down and really think about how much you recognize people.  Compare work to your personal life.  For some of you I bet you recognize people in your personal life more - spouse, kids, neighbors, buddies, etc.

Put yourself in your staff's position.  Personalize it.  Say your neighbor's been ill, so you mow his yard.  Next week you mow it again.  Come Monday morning you see him walk to his car, give you a wave, and he drives off to work.  How does that make you feel?  Not too awful good does it?

Getting NO feedback is just as bad as getting negative feedback.

Use the acronym that Lee Cockerell, former VP of Operations at Walt Disney World, uses - ARE:

• Appreciation
• Recognition
• Encouragement

Lee describes ARE as a "cost-free, fully sustainable fuel, one that builds self-confidence and self-esteem, boosts individual and team performance, and keeps an organization running cleanly and smoothly".

Appreciation - Recognition - Encouragement . . . a little goes a long way.

Cliques Gone Organized

I first learned of "tribal leadership" while reviewing the pre-launch book by Tony Hsieh, Delivering Happiness. I was curious to find out more about it when low-and-behold I received an email from the publisher of Tribal Leadership: Leveraging Natural Groups to Build a Thriving Organization (Dave Logan, John King & Halee Fischer-Wright) asking me to review the updated re-release (June 7) of the book. Awesome!

At first glance tribal leadership reminds me of cliques in school. There are various groups of kids who hang around together - preps, jocks, etc. - which you have to belong to in order to "hang" with them. As the school year progresses, so do the groups . . . or not.

LinkedIn co-founder, Reid Hoffman described Tribal Leadership as "a clear road map for the new reality of managing organizations, careers, and life". The key words here are, "new reality of managing organizations". In today's world, leaders must manage all aspects of the organization including the tribes. We have to help our people go from "they" or "I" attitudes to "we" attitudes.

The authors of Tribal Leadership take us through the five stages of building relationships between leaders, tribes and culture. It's, at times, comical because of the way tribes and leaders are described is sadly so true - reality check.

The goal of tribal leadership is to "upgrade as many people, and clusters of people, as are willing and able to move forward to Stage Four, the zone of tribal pride". A tribal leader is "someone who artfully builds his corporate tribes, then gets out of the way so people can achieve greatness".

By developing the tribe you'll create loyalty, hard workers, innovation and collaboration. Helllooo. Doesn't that make your job a bit easier? Sure it does. And just as importantly, it contributes more effectively to the success of the organization . . . and doesn't exactly hurt your own chances for advancement.

Tribes - culture - is not something that you want to "just happen". There's guidance and building that needs to be done in order for them to jive with your organization in order to create overall success.

Reading this book really opened my eyes to what was happening in my own organization. Pick up a copy of Tribal Leadership and learn how to become the leader of the tribe - go from "life sucks" to "life is great" - and you'll have that success.

Gotta Have It

Energy, that is. We’ve all been there – some more than others – wish you had more energy to do more, stay awake longer, or have more concentration. Yeah, you’ve been there.

Jon Gordon, author of The 10-Minute Energy Solution says that, "Everyone has lows. The key is to know when your energy is down and what you can do to turn it around." He maps out a 30-day plan with a simple 10-minute exercise each day to give you a boost physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Here are 10 things you can do:
1. Start your day with a positive energy walk. Step briskly and say what you're thankful for. Think positive thoughts like "I look forward to the rest of the day, the people I'm going to meet, the things I'm going to learn." Or complete these sentences: "I believe that... I trust that..."
2. Neutralize the "energy vampires," the people who drain you. They’re everywhere. Counter their negative comments and attitude with kindness and compassion. Notice something? Another person's negativity can only bring you down if you let it. Like I always say, attitude you give = attitude you get.
3. Lose your mind. No, don't go any more crazy than you already are. Go meditate. Sit in a quiet place. Focus on your breathing. Inhale and think of a word like "so" or "one" or "peace". Exhale and think of the same word or another. (Gordon likes the mantra "so hum".) Repeat with each breath. If a thought floats into your head, let it float out, and focus on your breathing and mantra again. "You want to lose your thoughts, your thinking mind, so you can be one with the moment," Gordon explains.
4. Add play to your day. Run around the yard with your kids or your dog (chase a squirrel). Put on your favorite pick-me-up song and dance. Grab three tennis balls and try to juggle them. Go for a bike ride. Build something out of Legos or Lincoln Logs – remember those? Write the lyrics to your life as a funny country song (and then share it with me!).
5. Connect. Call an old friend you haven't talked to in a while. Invite a coworker to lunch. Drop a line - not by email but by good, old-fashioned pen and paper (wow, what a concept) - to someone you don't see often.
6. Smile and laugh. Walk around your office and smile at your coworkers. They won't think you're strange (probably), just in a good mood. Several times a day, think of a funny joke or experience, and laugh.
7. Let stress go. "Energy is like a river," Gordon says. "Stress blocks it." To get it flowing again, first, list your stresses. Take a deep breath and clench your hands into fists, as if you're holding on to all the stress. Exhale forcefully, opening your hands and throwing your arms wide. Feel your tension release? Good. Say, "I choose not to have my stress. I let it go." Repeat this exercise for each stress you listed and let it go.
8. Pray for someone. It recharges your spiritual batteries. Studies suggest those who have a strong faith are better able to handle adversity. Make a list of people and what they need help and prayers for. Find a quiet spot and get comfortable. Listen to your breath, feel your heart beat. When you're nice and relaxed, pray for each person on your list.
9. Look for signs of grace. Think about the times in your life when you thought something bad happened, but it turned out to be a blessing. It may have happened and you just haven't realized it yet. Write these experiences down. Next time something you didn't want or expect occurs, look back on this list and remind yourself everything happens for a reason, even if you don't see it just yet.
10. Do a little lifting. Giving someone else a lift gives you a lift too. In one study, college students who performed five small acts of kindness a day (such as helping a friend with a paper or visiting an elderly relative) experienced a significant increase in well-being.

What will your five acts of kindness be? Plan two. Then look for three random opportunities to be kind as the day unfolds. If you come across more, keep going! As Gordon says, "Positive energy never decreases by being shared. With each gift, it grows."

Dare to Expect

What we usually get from people is what we expect to get. If we expect greatness, we'll get greatness. If we expect mediocrity, we'll get mediocrity.

Good leaders expect the BEST from themselves and their staff. Your expectations play a huge role in your own success and they also have a profound effect on the people around you.

ATTITUDE - What you expect from your staff determines your attitude toward them. And those around you reflect your attitudes right back to you - whether those expectations and attitudes are positive or negative. Attitude out=attitude back.

How many have ever worked for, or known, someone who thinks all staff are there just for a job. They have no motivation and will take advantage of any situation that comes along? Wow - that does sound familiar. If that's what the leader believes - that's what the leader will expect - that's how their staff WILL act.

In ALL relationships with others, develop a positive outlook. One that recognizes that they have the very best of intentions - with no ulterior motives.

Hey! Here's another good reason to be positive and expect the best. According to The Longevity Quotient, by Edward L. Schneider, M.D., "researchers interviewed 800 Minnesota residents to assess and rate their optimism levels, then tracked them for 35 years to see how long they lived." And the results? "Regardless of age or sex, the optimists lived longer. The pessimists died prematurely. In fact, for every 10 percent increase in the pessimism index, there were 20 percent more early deaths." That sounds like a pretty decent reason to think positively.

Communicate your expectations! Let your team know you have faith in them, while they might not yet have enough faith on their own. Knowing your expectations of working toward their best and being a positive influence will carry everyone to higher successes.

You Did It? You Fix It.

Have you ever worked for a "leader" that didn't accept blame? It can be extreeeemely frustrating - especially if he turns it back on you.

I believe one of the biggest positive factors in success is having the ability to say, "I did it", "I'm sorry", or just plain, "I screwed up". I've always taken responsibility for my actions and believe it's one of the biggest reasons for my success. I have NEVER tried to push blame onto others. Frankly, that's about the worst thing you can do as a leader. You will NEVER have the respect of your staff if you do.

In Pam Fox Rollins new book, 42 Rules for Your New Leadership Role, she says to "ban the blame" and ask "what are we learning from this?" Screw ups are learning experiences, folks. If it was your screw up, "say you were wrong, make repairs, and explain how you're going to ensure it doesn't happen again".

Don't waste time and energy on the blame-game. Hold yourself and your staff accountable. When you come across a problem, use your problem-solving tools to find the root cause as soon as possible. Remember, the actual cause is not always as obvious as it seems.

Immediately acknowledge mistakes, figure out what went wrong and why, fix it, and learn from it. Then all that's left is to mooove on.

Walk That Talk

In the past, I’ve known so many supervisors and managers that talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Good leadership means that you “walk the talk”. Leading is sometimes like raising children – sometimes there’s really not much difference at all. If you’re going to say “do as I say”, you also have to “do as you say”. That goes for any situation. You, as a leader, are on stage . . . the star of the show. You’re being watched more than you realize. In some cases, some may even call it stalking.

Over the past number of years, leaders have been getting more into the “employees are important to me” frame of mind. That’s a good thing. But at the same time, if you tell your staff, “if you are ill, stay home”, you can’t take things away from them or give them bad appraisal marks if the do (unless it’s obviously being taken advantage of).

If you keep telling your staff that they’re doing a good job when they’re not – that’s your fault. You can’t take things away from them or give them bad appraisal marks.

If you give your staff a survey to find out what’s on their minds or what problems or issues they have, then never do anything with the information, youuu might be a redneck. Oops, sorry - actually they’ll lose confidence in you and your abilities to effect change.

If you reap praise on your staff, as you should, but then take all the credit when it comes to your bosses – they’ll lose confidence and acceptance in you.

Are you seeing some kind of trend here?

Leadership Rule #1 – You’re the Leader – You’re being watched – You must be the example – You must set the bar – You must do as you say.

It's All About ME

Rufus Wainwright said,“Everything I do, I feel is genius. Whether it is or it isn't.” Ahhh, arrogance.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines arrogance as: “An attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.”

Let me see. Does that definition fit anybody we know? Just a hunch, but I’ll bet you could apply that definition to a lot of people occupying leadership positions.

Some have been given their leadership roles too quickly and therefore pick up a degree or two (or three) of arrogance along the way. Unfortunately, the people around them end up suffering for it.

Arrogance causes natural confidence to disintegrate while the person primarily serves themselves. The real sad part is that the arrogant assumes his views and opinions are the truth. He sees no weakness in himself and may even secretly rejoice in finding flaws in others. Team cohesiveness quickly goes down the drain.

You DON'T have to put up with arrogance. Give the arrogant the benefit of the doubt - consider confronting him after he's displayed inappropriate behavior. Explain how you interpreted the behavior and let him know you're trying to help him and the team.

Many people quickly realize they were perceived negatively and work to deal with their arrogance. Even if they're not completely successful in altering themselves, they're now at least aware of it and should be able to limit the behavior to some degree.

Sure, there'll be others that won’t get it . . . at all. You did the right thing though, by making them aware of how they're perceived and you may want to bring it up to him again at a later point. But give him some specifics on what he's doing and how it's impacting the team.

Bottom line - watch it! If it's your supervisor that's the arrogant one, subtly let him know. If it's you that's the arrogant one, listen to your peers and learn to change.

I AM the Manager

This week I’m going to share a tale with you. A tale of bad customer service by a manager – not a leader – a manager.

Recently a colleague and I went to Vero Beach to hold a couple of classes for our counterparts. We stayed over night so we brought our spouses along (separate rooms of course). The hotel we had reservations at was a nice one, not upscale but a very comfortable business and travel site. When we checked in we were given wonderful service by the woman at the desk (Betty). She was friendly, accommodating, and would do anything she could to make our stay memorable. I was thoroughly impressed.

Since my partner and I were going to be heading to class at about 6:45a.m. (ugh), we asked that we be allowed a late check-out. Betty said that we could have until 1:00p.m. – that’s all that she could authorize. Well that was much better than 11:00 so we said that would be great, and thanked her. Then one small omittance brought about our customer service snafu. Betty recorded my late check-out in the turnover book, but forgot to record my teaching partners. Oh-oh.

The next day my wife had no problem, however the other party did. He was called at 12:00 and told he had to get out (in not so many words). When he went to the front desk to sort the issue out, he was greeted with rudeness. He asked to talk to a supervisor and was told by the gentleman he was speaking to that, “I AM the manager”. Long story short, nothing changed – no apology, no concession - just get out.

Because of that ONE person - and the manager at that - none of us will ever stay at that particular hotel again.

In any service organization all staff should be constantly asking themselves, “How can I make these customers’ experiences better than from other places or better than they were the last time?”

Remember that “Everything Speaks”. Everything the customer sees, hears, smells, tastes, or touches will impact their experience with you. It’s a darn shame when the only “bad taste” comes from a correctable predicament made worse by management – the very person(s) that you’d expect to make things better.

As they teach at the Disney Institute, (even though this time the guest WAS right) “Guests may not always be right, but they are always our guests.”

I’m In Voicemail Hell

Voicemail. Oh, don’t get me started . . . too late. I just dread pushing those couple of little buttons on the phone to get my messages because I just KNOW that at least one of them is going to have me wanting to shoot myself in the temple before the caller has finished his message.

Voicemail was invented in the late ‘70s by Gordon Matthews. I’m sure he thought he was contributing something really spectacular to the business world. But I don’t think he could have imagined the abuse his little office miracle would be getting 30-some years later.

There’s a good chance that you, and everyone you know, has been in a voicemail nightmare. It’s not a place that you want to get to know. Leaving messages should be a very simple and SHORT process. They’re not meant to get everything off your chest. Be PREPARED, prior to making your call, to leave a coherent and concise message if the person doesn’t answer.

When leaving messages, have mercy on your listeners and do the following:
1. Speak slooowwwly and clearrrly and leave your phone number at the beginning AND the end of your message. Please save us from having to listen to the whole message twice in order to get your number.
2. Limit your comments to one or two quick subjects.
3. If you find yourself rambling, for the sake of my sanity (and your reputation), stop yourself and re-record the message.
4. If you need some type of action, simply state what you need. Voicemails that simply say, “call me” are just plain irritating . . . and may possibly be ignored. Give a short sentence or two about WHY you want me to call you.

And while we’re on the subject (soapbox) of phones, you know that little speaker button on your phone? FORGET you have one. If I wanted to call you AND everyone in your cube farm, I would have made a conference call.

When used properly, voicemail can improve communications dramatically. It can be a great asset. Just think about what it would be like if YOU were getting your message.

Wah - Get Over It

We all have at least one person we work with that just crawls under our skin (and slowly eats away at our very being – did I write that out loud?). It ends up affecting the morale of your other employees who get tired of having to constantly hear and see the skirmish. What’s worse are the two employees that come to you "telling" on the other one. Don’t you just want to say “Wah!” sometimes? It takes up a lot of time to deal with them. But you have to deal with them a bit more judiciously.

You – the leader – have to take control of the situation BEFORE it gets out of hand. While conflict in any environment is inevitable, when it goes unchecked and effects the workplace environment, it’s getting to be too late to deal with it quickly. It’s always easier to resolve the disputes before they become problems.

Here are a couple of things that you can do to help the situation turn around:
1st, Bring the two employees together so you can:
• show them how their behavior is affecting their colleagues and workplace,
• advise them that anything that’s interfering with a nice pleasant workplace (that you’ve tried so hard to develop) must be resolved,
• remind them that they’re both valuable employees and that you’re confident that they can resolve their differences and be able to work together (give them the benefit of the doubt),
• get their COMMITMENT to work out their differences so they can work together, and
• ensure that they understand the seriousness of the problem and that – here’s the KEY - while they don’t have to like each other, you do expect them to learn to work together.
And don’t forget to DOCUMENT everything – just in case.

2nd, Review the options with your problem children employees:
• They can work it out on their own.
• You can meet with them to address the issues.
• You can bring in a mediator to work with them to resolve the issues.
• They can refuse to work on the issues, in which case, you will be accepting their resignations in the morning (tough love).

It’s never easy, or desirable, to have to deal with these types of issues. But a good leader is going to be ready for it. This is something that you can plan on happening at some point in time. Stash this little checklist away and be ready to pull it out at the earliest onset of a problem – don’t let it get to the full on problem stage and you’ll have a much easier time dealing with it, all the way around.

It's Your Call

Decisions. In Lee Iacocca’s autobiography, he says, “If I had to sum up in one word what makes a good manager, I’d say decisiveness. You can use the fanciest computers to gather numbers, but in the end you have to set a timetable and act. And I don’t mean rashly. I’m sometimes described as a flamboyant leader and hipshooter, a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants operator. But if that were true, I could never have been successful in business.”

This quote from Lee Iacocca illustrates how you’ll never get anything accomplished unless you’re prepared to make decisions. When you reach the top, the workers below you will only be as effective as YOUR decisions.

A decision can go one way or another – either POSITIVELY or NEGATIVELY. INdecision, though, can only be negative. Now that you have that nice office with the window, it doesn’t mean that you sit around reading the sports section all day just letting things happen. Get off your duff. The more decisions you make, the better your judgment and decisions will become. Not sure how to make the best decisions? Here a few tips:

- Never make decisions based on emotion or to prove a point. That will bring you more problems then you had in the first place, and ones that tend to escalate.

- Make sure you have a good grasp of the subject. Write it down and list the pros and cons. Don’t take too long to make decisions. Writing things down will help move it along.

- Get input from people whose opinions you trust. Use your network – if you don’t have one, build one – now.

- Once you make your decision, make sure it’s executed swiftly and fully.

You’ve been making decisions your whole life. Now’s the time to put together everything you’ve learned. Be confident, carry it, and show it. You owe it to your team and yourself.

EXTRA NOTE: I'm currently reading an advance copy of Tony Hsieh's (CEO of Zappos.com), book, "Delivering Happiness". It's a great book detailing his early childhood entrepreneurism up to current time. It will inspire your own success, better customer service and focusing on your company culture. If you'd like a chance to win an advance copy, comment back to me the name of the company that Tony sold to Microsoft. If you'd like to find out more about Tony's upcoming book release (June 7) go to http://www.deliveringhappinessbook.com/.

The Pen Is Mightier Than . . .

There are a wide variety of communication tools these days. No matter how convenient any of them may be, you cannot skimp on the necessities. Being able to write well in business is a requirement. You need to write concisely and be able to make a clear point.

First off, think about what it is you want to achieve with your memo or email. What’s the point? Who exactly is your audience? What do you want the reader to do as a result?

Organize your thoughts BEFORE you start writing. Jot down a few notes or a short outline. This will make the writing go a lot quicker for you.

Write the same way that you speak. The best writing most closely resembles normal, everyday speech. If it’s too formal, it becomes harder to understand. But watch out - that doesn’t mean to throw in a bunch of slang like “ain’t”, “gonna”, etc. That’s a bit too loose.

Be brief and concise. Make your point, support it and move on. This is not a time for a bunch of fluff (there’s never a time for a bunch of fluff). You’re not impressing anyone with it.

Write and re-write. It’s really not often that we get it absolutely right the first time. Write your memo, re-read it, let it sit, and re-read it again. Especially if it’s a critical piece. Don’t send something out when there’s a possibility that it might come back to haunt you. Get it right the first time.

BE POSITIVE, even if you’re conveying bad news. No one likes to read negative memos, so it will sound much worse than it actually is to the recipient. Negative writing often back fires on the writer by reflecting poorly on him and in return, loosing the message for the recipient.

Like so many other things – treat everyone as me – write your memos and emails to mimic what you would want to read. Ask yourself what types of statements would offend YOU being on the other end of the communication.

What CAN You Change?

In many organizations, especially those under heavy regulation (banking, healthcare, etc), you just don’t have a lot of opportunity for change. For a gung ho leader, that can make a tough job even more though, not to mention more stressful.

There are actually some things that you CAN change in your environment to decrease your stress. The thing is, you’ve probably thought about some of them already, but just haven’t gotten around to implementing them. Now is the time. It’s on your mind. You have some time (you’re reading this, aren’t you). So Do It.

Learn to Have Some Fun. Business is business, but it doesn’t have to be all spit and polish all the time. Release that inner humor. Smile. Talk at the water cooler about what happened last night on “Two and a Half Men.”

Learn to Say NO. Remember this? – “You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.” When you’re plate is already stuffed, you just have to respectfully say no. It's better to do fewer things well than to do more things half-a**ed.

You’ve got to Manage Your Own Schedule. Too often supervisors get so caught up in managing others that they forget that they need managing also. Don’t leave it up to your boss, do it yourself. Get a planner, PDA (my personal favorite), or a desk calendar (do they still sell these?). Record every meeting and event as soon as you find out about it. Do a little triage. Is it a meeting you actually NEED to go to?

Be Optimistic. It’s human nature to pick out the negative. Be conscious of that and look for the good in everything that you do AND everyone that you meet. People have good qualities. Look for that first. You’ll feel so much better about yourself, your staff and co-workers, and your job. Attitude reflects attitude.

You can’t change everything, but you can recognize the things that you CAN change and work on them. You may not be able to change the regulations, but you can always change yourself.

Negaholism

It's unfortunate that negativity comes so naturally to people. "No, you can't do that. No, I can't do this." To some, NO is the first thing that comes to mind. It's extremely stressful to be around these people all the time. But hey - what can you do? You can stay positive is what you can do. Realize who's causing the negativity and why and help them out.

A lot of times it just takes someone to point out to the "negaholic" that they have a problem. We've all been there, whether at work or at home. I was there. When my kids were growing up, any time they asked for something, my immediate answer was "NO". Not because the answer was really no, it was because "no" became a habit. Once I realized it, I had to work at losing it.

Negaholism causes many problems in the workplace and just keeps building if nothing is done about it. Some of the biggest problems negaholism causes are:

• breakdowns in communication,
• loss of trust,
• arguing over seemingly childish issues,
• the blame game (what does that TV commercial call it - "blamestorming"?), and
• competition where there should be cooperation.

So what can you, as a leader, do to help? Mentor your negaholics. Meet with them, talk with them. Show them how things are and how they should be in order to improve. Point out that their road to advancement depends on their change. You should discuss your (and the organizations) behavioral expectations. And most of all, give good honest - and frequent - feedback. Just showing a negaholic that you care can be enough to turn him/her right around.

Negativity Is Not In Your Job Description

Negativity breeds negativity. Sometimes you need to remind your team (leaders and employees) that negativity is not in the job description.

As a leader, when you walk through the door, you're on stage. Your every move is being watched and imitated by your employees. Therefore, you must be consistent and predictable in how you interact with your employees and how you deal with life’s (organization) challenges.

Your attitude is the foundation for your employees’ attitude. If you come in to work smiling, optimistic and approachable, then it's easier to expect a positive work day. If you come to work with a scowl on your face, are angry or have a "don't talk to me until I've had my coffee" attitude, you can expect to be working in a negative work environment - and have no one to blame but yourself.

In addition to watching yourself, moderate the flow of gossip. If you notice rumors being circulated among your employees, verify them from the source. Despite what people may think, work is not the place to gossip. And besides, most gossip is just plain made up. It creates animosity, tension, and ill-will. When dealing with the gossiper, call their bluff! Invite them to join you in confronting the other individuals that are being gossiped about. Chances are, that will be the end.

If employees are allowed this negativity for too long, it becomes habitual and they can't stop. It becomes who they are. You'll begin to realize that every time you come in contact with these people, you'll be hearing complaints. Negativity will spread like a disease. Negativity breeds negativity.

What you send out is what you get back. Everyone is in control of their own/your own attitude - it's sometimes one of the only things you can control at work.